I am sure I speak for a good majority of people when I say that superhero movies have become a bit too much. However, there has been one superhero that really changes the game. Well to be fair, he isn’t a superhero. He is more of an antihero … maybe? Honestly, I don’t know how you would classify him but either way its Deadpool. LOL.
So, unless you have been living under a rock, you know that Deadpool and Wolverine recently hit theaters, and I have to say … it was an enjoyable experience. While I am not one to really enjoy gore, I will tolerate it because Deadpool is a good movie going experience that is worth the $20 ticket price. (Inflation is really a problem LOL).
One of the biggest takeaways from Deadpool and Wolverine is how it brought a refreshing and much-needed emphasis on male friendships. These films, while packed with action and humor, also delve into the depths of what it means to have a meaningful, supportive, and transformative friendship between men. While most of Deadpool’s demographics is men, I am hoping (especially where we stand as a society now) that men let go of the machismo persona and really see how important male friendships are in real life.
Disclaimer that most of what is spoken about is coming from a generic heteronormative male stereotype. That is not to say that these tips can’t be used in other spaces, but I just want to be upfront.
The Power of Connection: Deadpool and Wolverine's Dynamic
The relationship between Deadpool (Wade Wilson) and Wolverine (Logan) is far from conventional. Their interactions are filled with sarcasm, annoyance (mostly Wolverine being annoyed), and a shared history of pain and resilience. Yet, beneath the surface, there is a profound sense of loyalty, respect, and understanding that defines their bond.
Their dynamic really highlights a few crucial aspects of what is needed for healthy male friendships:
1. Vulnerability and Honesty: Both Deadpool and Wolverine have faced immense personal traumas. Their willingness to share these vulnerabilities, often masked by humor and bravado, underscores the importance of being open and honest in friendships. Men can benefit from creating spaces where they can express their emotions and struggles without fear of judgment.
It is about time that we really let go of this “men don’t cry” or “vulnerability is weakness”
bullsh*t that exists in the male culture and really encourage openness. Not only will it help strengthen friendships, but it goes a long way in other relationships that can have a tremendous impact on the overall well-being of the male gender.
2. Support and Encouragement: Despite their rough exterior, both characters demonstrate a deep commitment to supporting each other. Whether it’s through a sarcastic remark or a genuine act of kindness, their interactions show that support can come in many forms. Encouraging friends to pursue their goals, offering a listening ear, or simply being there during tough times are crucial components of a strong friendship.
Even if it isn’t something that you don’t agree with, showing your friends that you support them can really help boost their confidence. That makes all the difference.
3. Respect for Individuality: Deadpool and Wolverine are vastly different in their personalities and approaches to life. Yet, their friendship thrives because they respect each other's uniqueness. This respect for individuality is essential in real-life friendships, allowing each person to be themselves without feeling pressured to conform.
Granted, Deadpool can be a lot to take in for many of the characters, that level of uniqueness really makes things spicy and fun LOL.
Why Male Friendships Matter
Research consistently shows that having close friendships can significantly impact mental health and overall well-being. For men, who are often socialized to be independent and strong/stiff developing and maintaining friendships can be particularly challenging. Especially in adulthood.
However, the benefits of strong male friendships are undeniable:
- Emotional Support: Friendships provide a safe space for emotional expression and support, which is crucial for mental health. Especially as humans go through life and experience stressors and traumas, it is important to have support to help navigate those times.
- Reduced Stress: Sharing experiences and concerns with friends can reduce stress levels and promote a sense of belonging. Plus, hanging out with friends is fun. It helps to decompress when you have a friend to do dumb sh*t with and be yourself.
- Increased Longevity: Studies have shown that strong social connections can lead to longer, healthier lives. Less stress + More Fun = A Longer Life. Plain and simple.
- Enhanced Personal Growth: Friends can challenge each other to grow, learn, and become better versions of themselves. Deadpool and Wolverine showcase that beautifully in the movie.
- Provides a Good Example for Future Generations: One of the BIGGEST benefits of having male friendships is how that provides a good example for our children. If you are a dad, showcasing how to be a good friend and how to have healthy friendships is a vital lesson for our kids. By them seeing a good example in their parents can help them mirror those same behaviors as they develop.
Tips for Encouraging and Nurturing Male Friendships
1. Be Proactive in Reaching Out: Don’t wait for your friends to contact you. Reach out regularly to check in, make plans, and show that you care. It doesn’t make you weak or a burden, it allows your friends to see that you enjoy hanging out with them and they will be (hopefully) proactive in return.
2. Create Shared Experiences: Engage in activities that you both enjoy. Whether it’s watching sports, playing video games, hiking, or simply having a coffee, shared experiences strengthen bonds.
3. Practice Active Listening: When your friend shares something, listen. Show empathy and understanding and resist the urge to immediately offer solutions or advice. Friends will tell you when they want your advice, so if they didn’t ask for it then just listen.
4. Be Open and Vulnerable: Share your own experiences and emotions. Vulnerability fosters deeper connections and encourages your friends to be open as well.
5. Celebrate Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate each other’s successes, no matter how small. This reinforces positive feelings and mutual support.
6. Support During Tough Times: Be there for your friends during difficult periods. Offer your support, whether it’s through a conversation, a gesture of kindness, or simply your presence. Just letting them know that you are there for them can really make all the difference.
7. Respect Boundaries: Understand and respect each other’s boundaries. Everyone has different comfort levels, and respecting these boundaries is key to a healthy friendship. Also don’t be afraid to establish your own.
8. Encourage Growth: Challenge each other to grow and improve. Offer constructive feedback and support each other’s personal and professional development, but don’t be a ass about it. It’s a delicate balance of encouraging your friend but not pushing your perspective.
Not quite sure why male friendships are so taboo in society and rarely depicted in pop culture. Now Deadpool and Wolverine aren’t the only bromance to have existed, but it has felt like a long time since male friendships have taken the big screen. Even within the actors, Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds, it has been really refreshing to see how they have continued to showcase male friendships in a positive light. They have been incredibly encouraging and humorous of each other and I believe it really helped boost the marketing for the movie LOL.
Regardless, Deadpool and Wolverine's friendship in the cinematic universe serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of male friendships. Their relationship, characterized by vulnerability, support, and mutual respect, provides a blueprint for how men can cultivate and nurture meaningful connections in their own lives.
By prioritizing these friendships, men can enhance their emotional well-being, reduce stress, and foster personal growth. So, take a page from Deadpool and Wolverine's playbook and make an effort to strengthen the bonds with the men in your life. The benefits are immeasurable, and the impact on your mental health and overall well-being will be profound.
So let's fucking go ... when it comes to male friendships LOL.
Written by: Jessica Jefferson, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Perinatal Mental Health Counselor and Owner of Cloud Nine Therapeutic Services. My passion is helping individuals through heartbreak, whether that is heartbreak with others or heartbreak within themselves. My goal is to be their guide on their journey to their self-discovery so that they can build the life and relationship they want. I am here for when you want to start your journey.